Revelations of A Hidden Soul

How's Life?

2008-11-04T18:18:00.000-08:00

How's life? Some people ask....

Well, here's the breakdown...Life has been good so far...Of course, it has had its ups and downs but hey, that's life for you. If you're complaining about it, i won't say you are wrong, i'll just say you should examine yourself 1st. But anyway, recently we had this halloween party at my coll...It was okay, considering the low turn up of individuals... The commitee who organised it did pretty good in my opinion, managing everything as best they could... The highlights of that day was the few dancing performances, like the Pussycat Balls...Basically, guys thinkin they're the pussycat dolls...Ya nasty...And for fans of batman, there was a guy dressed up as Poison Ivy...Equally nasty...Or more....

Besides the horrific halloween party(it was bloody murder i tell you), there were my 2 best friends, who so graciously and expectedly turned up at my college just for the express purpose of visiting me...haha...At least i think so...One of them might have been looking for hot guys...Were you?? So anyway, i really appreciate my best friends comin together at once to see me...Means a lot to me and it's one of the reasons why i say life is good...

So here's to the both of you, my darlings...Hahaha

Signed,
Revelations

Long Waits, End

2008-08-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all...

It seems it's become a habit for me to have super long gaps in my blogging so i'm not gonna say i have been blogging for a long time...haha... ANYWAYS, i have finally started my driving lessons... So far i have taken 2 lessons(that's = 4 hours by da way) and man, i'm hooked... I really love it although sometimes its damn frustrating when da car DIES!!! on you...haha...but i've already stopped sei-foing so i guess thats good...lol...oh, and MAJOR coincidence, my brother actually had the same instructor that i got, so that's pretty damn cool...he's a nice guy, terrible english though...lol...luckily, i;m not a complete banana so wasnt too hard understanding him...haha...looking forward to my next and final lessons which is on thursday, friday and sunday(then i'm taking the test already) so, wooot...

Oh, oh...

It seems Sam is adamant on throwing a party for me this saturday...haha...although my actual birthday is like 10 days later(u go figure)...knowing Sam, (she's probably doing it just to get a party to go to...haha...joking Sam...) its gonna be great and probably a little crazy too...hmmm...*wonders what unimaginable tortures Sam has in store for me**chokes on fried rice* and then my other best friend has booked me the following sunday to manifest her sadistic streak...*chokes AND gags on fried rice* haha...but i appreciate it guys(or girls) so thanks to both of my best buds and i luv y'all.... =)

Ps: use ur imagination when the ** sign appears(although you probably already know that)
Pps: go to this link...i love this...haha....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1FGaCNN1aw

Signed,
Revelations

Okay, Dunno Where I'm At, So Here Goes

2008-07-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all...

It's been awhile since my last blog because seriously, i have had nothing of consequence to write in here. But then again, i don't have anything to write now either... Besides writing here that i don't have anything to write...(you can take an aspirin in advance, this is going to be confusing). So, i've been perusing the insights of my fellow peers that are close and some not close to me and have cometotheconclusionthateventhoughsomepeoplemaylookfinebutinsidetheystillhavemanyreasonsforhiding
thingsandtheydohidethemforfearofbeingregardedasvulnerablelikemyclosestfrensfamilyandeverybodyelse. If you've had a heartbrokendepressedwretchedfeelingbrokendownemotionaldowncastsadbrotherorbrothersan
devenclosefrensduetothelackofattentionlovecaringthattheywereusedtoyouwouldunderstandthatperfectlyjustlik
emesoifyouareasmartpersondonteverfindagirlfriendorboyfriendicouldhavejustsaidpartnerwhenyouarestillinsch
oolorevencollegeoruniversitybeacuselifegetssodamncomplicatedwhenyoudoespeciallywhentheconnectionrelat
ionshipthattiesyougetbrokenoffyouwillbecomeliketheaforementionedheartbokendepressedwretchedfeelingbrok
endownemotionaldowncastsadpeople. SO, take my advice(andhopethatitakeitmyself)anddontgetonesoearlyinlifeorifyoudodonotgetoverlyattachedbecauselikeitornoteventuallywhenyougrowupand
matureintodifferentpeoplesomehoworratheryouwillhaveadifferentoutlookonlifeandyourtastesandyouwillfindth
hattimeshavechangedandlovedoesnotcomesoeasilyanymore. Ergo, just follow my advice.

Song in my head:spell by marie digby

Stupid post,
Revelations

Road Trip.... Sort Of

2008-06-24T01:41:00.001-07:00

Hey all!!

To all those that have followed me thus far in my blog, i got to say sorry for all the dark and pseudo-emo posts... Haha... So as a token of my forgiveness, here's some better stuff for you guys to look at...

Day 1

As the title suggests, i had a road trip from Friday till Sunday... The 1st stop was Ipoh and you can already guess what i did there... And so the 1st thing me and my family (whole family for once in about 4 years, this is the 1st holiday i had in 2 years, so pretty amazing, lol) did was go down to the famous white coffee place and gorged ourselves on the awesome food... White coffee, coupled with fried mee, dim sum, siew pau and fish ball just has a way of making your life all the more blissfull... Lol...( I have photos but can't seem to upload the mwith my gud for nothing internet connection) And right after that, we embraced the humble tradition of going to sleep right after our meal...(Although we actually didn't because we had to look for the hotel for about 45 minutes...Haha) And slumbered we did, until 6.30 wherein we once again decided to pursuit ways to make ourselves less horizontally challenged...(I actually managed to see a real Ipoh parking meter...It's shorter than me by about 2 feet and looks much better than ours...) Oh, and in the ardent look or food, i found the place where i fell into the drain when i was in form 1 or 2....(It was right outside a restaurant, the hor fun place, so u can imagine the nastiness of falling into one of those...eeecccchhh) Brings back lovely memories.... And after dinner, we once again retired into our rooms(again getting lost) and watched Catwoman(lame show) and then sleep)

Day 2

Woke up at 8 o'clock(with lots of whining and pleading of course) to join up with a friend and headed off to Taiping and again, food...(Lame i know) Then we shot up to Cameron Highlands...The trip itself was uneventful with everybody dosing(Except my father of course, who was driving)and waking up to read or just stone... But towards the top, the everybory woke up to feel the coolness of the fresh hill breeze(Cameron is not a mountain) and subsequently feel like puking....(I did anyway) First thing we did when we went there was to find our relative(really distant, hard to explain but really close to my family) who owns Cactus Valley, a popular tourist spot in Cameron... As usual, he greeted us with aplomb, though with a fewer hair... Always an influential person, he managed to secure us an apartment for RM200 a night with a siting room, 3bedrooms and their respective bathrooms when it was supposed to cost RM650....Haha... And then we went out for a fantastic dinner at his childrens' Godfather's place....(Technically, his children are our cousins...Again, hard to explain) All the food was good(I mean real GOOD!!! Can't find stuff like this down in KL) And then we went for a stroll in the pasar malam there... But we soon left because, as usual, my vaunted relative was paying for everything we bought!!!(Boxes of strawberries and bubble tea and corn) We then went to his house where i saw a freaky fish with a fish's body but a crocodile's mouth...(Nasty looking teeth too)We hung out there, the youngsters in a group and the elders in another...And laughing so much our heads almost popped out.... Lol...

Day 3

We were at his house until about 12.30(thats the reason for the different day, i'm very technical, so sue me) and then left for the comfort of our beds...Although we had to take a chilling bath till my little brother almost dropped off from frostbite... Slept and woke up at 9 this time and we went to the same place for breakfast(not so good this round the food)and then, my relative took us to see his farm and again gave us fresh strawberries and other stuff.... But the highlight was the trip up to the summit of one of the hills with a watchtower.... We went up there in a topless jeep and i managed to take loads of pictures of the tea plantations on the way up there(Beautiful i tell you)... Also, the wind in my face(and occasionally a branch) was real exhilarating.... The rest, is usual stuff.... And so ends my 1st vacation in 2 years... Haha...

Comprehension

2008-06-04T01:08:00.000-07:00

Woot!!!

I'm finally going 2 college!!! Those of you who have kept up with my blog will know that this is actually quite a feat for me.... Unfortunately, i can only register now and wait till august for the semester to start.... T_T But still, i look forward to the time where i can actually start my studies again... How i ronice is that??? A few years ago(actually, just last year) i would have given up my left nut(pardon the symbology) to stop studying.... But hey, it all changes in time.... Oh, and my sister's wedding is coming up!!! I've been waiting for this to happen really long too because she has been dating the guy for about 5 years now....(now THAT is commitment) We'ev all been acquainted and found that he's a nice guy(more sensible then my sis).... LOL... So anyway, the party's gonna be so big that there's gonna be like 4 ceremonies... Oh, and i'll be her all important usher(not quite but trying to feel more important here so humour me)... Yep yep, lots of hand shaking and welcomes are gonna be made and by the end of the day i'll probably have my face frozen in a half grimace half smile....HAHA

And yet you cannot comprehend

I don't know whether you really cannot comprehend, that you cannot understand, my words that are supposed to make you realise, or you are just lying to yourself in order to prolong your period of imagined happiness... How else can i make you realise the truth of what i'm saying without hurting you, and our friendship? Have i led you on? Waited too long to tell you this? Or did you just get attached and refuse to let go? My words should have given you clarity on the situation... Given you insight to my thoughts... And yet, you stay the same, asking questions like you don't understand... If this is hurting, i must sorry, even though i know it must be done... Don't you see? It is for the good of both of us that this has to come to light... But you ignore all the signs, the signals, the words that i have given you to help you understand.... So, i hope this will bring you to acknowledge that this is for you, simple and clear.... So take these words and know who you are....

Signed,
Revelations

And Again It Comes

2008-05-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

And here we go again....

Once again, i'm faced with the difficult decision... Once again, the answer are hidden from me... Once again, i face the same problems that have plagued me since the 1st time.... And the new intakes draw closer....
Those closer to me would have already known the problems i am facing... Same old same old... And yet, can't seem to find a way to shake it loose... Maybe i should just put it off for the rest of the damn year... How mortifying, the prospect of facing another half a year doing nothing while my peers advance, leaving me behind to be stagnant.... Funny how other dont seem to be facing this problem.... Like my brothers for instance... But then again, i shouldn't be jsut cursing everything and everyone just because it doesn't go my way... So anyway, to those who actually managed to get into their further studies, be thankful instead of having life and whatnot screwing you over...

And again you try....

You should know i've already noticed... It's not so hard to see, not so hard to recognise when you do it.... I'm not the only one to have this revelation though... Those that have seen you when you're with me have also seen it and what's more, the've told me about it... You continue trying even though you know my thoughts and i cannnot blame you, for i know i would do that too... But i do not want you to misunderstand, misintepret my actions, for if this continues to lead you on, the truth would crush you... And so i tell it to you now, what you are doing is not what i want, because i know when 'it' comes, 'it' grabs hold of you, stopping your breathing and only one thing remains in your thoughts.... But 'it' has happened to me and it doesn't happen when i'm with you... Hopefully, you would understand that through this, we can preserve our friendship long enough for you to see that this is the right thing to do....

Signed,
Revelations

Despair, Loss, And Hope

2008-04-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

And the sand continuously trickles from the top of the hourglass to the ever empty bottom

Do you know what it feels like? When every second of every bad memory in your life freezes into stark rality as you watch on helpless... When every beat of your pounding heart sends torrents of blood into your brain only to discover it only lets in the thoughs of despair? When every thing you hold dear is stripped away leaving you naked and cold and alone in this desolate world? A feeling i would not want to go through and yet find it impossible to contain lest it chokes me on the inside leaving my body gasping for air and hollow. A feelings that prompts you to end it all, with a stroke of a blade in your hands, a click and a release from a cocked gun, a step off at the wrong direction or a ingestion of something that causes your body to writhe in agony for but a moment and then releases you into blessed oblivion. Have you ever felt despair so strong that with every second you breath you feel like tearing your own heart out just to feel pain and relieve you of the thoughts drowned in darkness? Of emotions rushing through you so powerfully that you can't even cry yourself to sleep because all the tears have been swallowed by the abyss of your suffering? That every second of the day you know there is a demon hovering beside you waiting for the chance to take control and drag you with it to the fiery depths until eternal sleep finds you and gives you solace? But it will only last but a few moments.

From the day you leave your mortal shell, you find that everybody has been lying to you, telling you that with death comes an eternal rest. You curse those that told you those blasphemies but is impotent to doanything about it for you were indeed dragged to the very bottom of the world, a place where the fires are continually stoked, never burning out, a place where you can hear the wailing and despair of others, yet unable to see or communicate with anybody besides the foul creatures that brought you there. You beg for a second chance, another attempt to change your life. But you have been judged for your transgressions and been cast into this unholy region. The unnatural flames burn you, yet you continue 'living' a semblence of life an unholy mockery of what used to be a great gift to us but we never treasured it. Every second of every dismal day, you are being tormented by the loathsome beasts, unalble to fight back, like a rat trapped in a cage and being seared by fiery hot pokers and each jab feels like agony you've never before experienced, each time worse than the last.

But i will not submit to my despair for i have a protector. The life that i lead might be as though a curse, yet i will treasure it and not end it with my own hands for i know of the dreadful consequences were i to do so. A hand guides me in the time of my hardships. The fog and smoke that clouds around my battered mind is pierced by a brilliant light that engulfs me in all its glorious radiance and in it, i find inexpressible joy. Through the endless suffering i walk through, many times i trip, stumble and fall flat on the ugly wreck that was once my face but now, a hand catches me every time i do and helps up again to continue plodding the long road that is life. Through all the trials and travails, a silent guardian is watching over me as it has drove away the horrible being that planned to capture my soul. I pledge myself to the powerful yet loving entity that has been my companion all my life but never realised it, and in my abasement, i found joy beyond compare and felt a similar joy emanating from my comforter and all the dwellers of the most high joined Him in celebration. I know now that there is nothing to fear, but my body betrays me. Yet, i am satisfied for i know, perfection is a thing that only He can obtain. And after my road has ended, i can be with Him together, forever, in an endless paradise that everyone can call home, as long as they take His hand and walk in His path. Because finally, i am at peace.

This is a message of understanding, of warning, and of a solution for all those that have lost their way on the path of life and have no more hope for the future. This goes out to the people that think life is meaningless and have submitted to despair. Let these words inspire you to change and help you find your way.

Signed,
Revelations

Once Again

2008-04-18T01:06:00.000-07:00

Wahaha....

Started working for my parents on Monday and i've learned a few things... Note:A few things only... Haha... But besides that, the job's pretty relaxed and quite enjoyable... Can't tell my parents that though or they'll definately increase the workload... It seems it's their motto or something to make an example out of their own children... LOL... So far, i've learned the inner workings of the photostating machine, the intricate detains involvin the scanner, some minor details on filing and also how to use ACAD... (For those of you who doesn't know what ACAD is, it's an engineer's program designed to help in drawing floor plans and layouts of houses) That part is pretty interesting and i get to hang out with my parents more... That part is good and bad... Good because i'm always around them, bad because when i'm around them in the office, they tend to be very argumentative(with all the stress of work and all) so it's a real great thing for their son to be witnessing... But overall, it's quite okay here... Oh, and we'll be hiring another person to work here... A Malay lady who's 4 years older than me... It'll be good because other than my mother, there's like only my boring aunt to talk to(can't speak english very well) so i'll sort of be getting a companion... Sadly, she's no eye candy... I'll take what i can get though... ;)

Another thing,

I took my undang test today... And i have only one comment... The hardest part of the whole test is the waiting... I mean come on, they make u sit there and wait for over an hour to get you in the room for the test... Absolutely ridiculous... Another example of great Malaysian attitude... And also, the test room was bloody freezing!!! It's a conspiracy i tell you... It's all part of their nefarious plot to lower our core body temperature and slow down our metabolisme so that our thinking becomes distorted and our hands become too numb to click in the correct answers... Because our brain function is lowered, our minds tend to make mistakes without noticing and the extreme cold combined with lethargy will make you anxious to leave the room without checking your answers and thus, causes you to have a higher chance of failing...(My very own conspiracy theory...hehe) But despite all that, i won through and managed to finsh the test and pass...(Sounds like i'm just praising myself, no??) And so ends their evil plot with my victory over their traps and pitfalls....

Signed,
Revelations

All Questions Answered

2008-04-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm going to kill somebody if they ask me again...

Okay, here's the deal.... I've been asked recently about which college i'm going to and i'm really getting tired of the answer... So here goes... I've told a few of you that i've signed up at UM but, and i mean a really BIG 'BUT', i am not studying there now... It seems they have not replied my application so i assume that they rejected it... So there it is... And so if anybody wants to know, here it is.... Stop asking me... Sheesh... So yeah, i'm still bumming at home now with nothing to do and nowhere to go... What a lovely life i lead...

Oh, another thing,

Recently, i know a few people might have noticed that i've been really disconnected these past few days... Or weeks... Anyway, don't worry about me too much because i'm facing my own mid-life crisis at 17 coming 18.... =.=" It also has something to do with these wierd and unsettling dreams i've been having... Information aside, i guess, they are supposed to be happy dreams but instead of that, i've just been trying to puzzle out the dream.... Maybe i'm just going nuts.. =) So, if anthing happens i'll keep you posted...

Signed.
Revelations

New Stuff Rush

2008-03-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

Woah....

Recently, my 2nd brother bought a new phone.... It's a sony erricsson W910i.... Sob sob... Makes mine look like a junk...haha... But good news is that i can actually take his old phone(way better than my own by da way) so that's a bonus... Still, makes my phone look bad...haha... And then before him, there was my dad, which also bought a new SE phone... Some PDA which i cannot name...(literally can't because i don't know the name) But his was justified... So was my 2nd brother's.... His phone's joystick is a sore thorn up his *ehem ehem* and my dad's was just plain unpresentable.... But then i got some information from my 2nd brother now that my big brother might be buying a new one as well..... =.=" what's with all the new stuff??!! My big brother says he started getting itchy when he saw new phones.... Sighs... Oh, and now that i have inherited the pain in the *ehem ehem* phone, i'm having said thorn in my hynie... Go figure... So if anybody knows a good phone repair shop that does things well and is not too pricey, give me a call aite...(this is starting to look like an advertistment)

Oh, and i'm still waiting for that stupid reply from UM....

Signed,
Revelations

It's Been Awhile

2008-03-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

Wow... Can't believe i hvnt blogged for such a long period...

This would be my glorious return to the humble art of bloggin...as if...haha...random... Anyway, the purpose of today's post is to like i said above, add an extra post for the benefit of certain parties... SO, lets get on with it... First order of business,

ALERT!!!!! NEWSFLASH!!!!!

It seem extremely likely now that i will not be going to study at HELP.... SOB SOB... Instead, my parents have actually come up with the idea of me going to UM... Woah... And so i dutifully followed their instructions and went there to check itt our, ask about things there... From the outside, the place looks daunting... Extremely large will be the word to describe it... So it seemed that it was pre-ordained that i was to get lost in there after the 1st turning...haha... After many stops to ask for directions from a few Malay ladies(the place is littered with them) i was nowhere nearer to finding my way to the counsellors... Thank God for the kind Chinese lady that actually understood what i said to her... I tracked down the counsellor and was promptly told that i couldn't register there... Apparently, i had to use a website... And to use the website, i needed a code that has to be bought from a bank... Lovely... Just how i would like to spend my time... *Sighs*

Signed,
Revelations

Winds Of Change

2008-03-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

The world of Malaysia changes....

The recent elections have come up with a surprising result.... NOT!!! This occurence was a long time in coming, it was just a matter of when and how.... After the May 13 incident in 1969, people just have been storing up pent up frustration and as a result, this happened... Personally, i think this is a very good change for Malaysia as it keeps the government in check.... With only the simple majority in the ruling party's hands,(i shall abstain from mentioning their name)they don't have the power to do what they want when they please... Means, they can't simply just create or destroy rules when they so fancy... Woot!!! So 3 cheers for their opponents for putting up such a tough fight and showing them that there are still those out there to thwart them when they think they can do anything they want....

On a different note,

SPM results are out omg omg omg omg......... Haha... Not really that nervous in the morning... I think... As i woke up this morning, i was surprisingly calm... Compared to my compatriots.... So anyway, i was given the priviledge of being shauferred by a friend of mine from my previous class, Zhi Hao(a.k.a chicken) in a proton Wira... Lovely... When i arrived at my high school, i noticed that everybody else was either sweating or pacing... Haha... What a way to get some confidence right?? And not surprisingly, the results were not out yet.... *Sighs* As usual, Malaysian punctuality makes another appearence... So a bunch of us that met up went and ate some breakfast... And during that crucial time of our most important meal of the day, we got a call telling us the results were out... With all due speed, we gobbled up our food and literally teleported ourselves to our school(after paying of course) and went in and checked our results.... LO AND BEHOLD!!!!! I got 6 A's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow... Cant believe i trumped both my brothers.... After much congratulations from friens and family, all of us adjourned to a cyber cafe for some wholesome, friendly killing games....(all planned a week ahead too) And so that was our way of celebrating our results... Haha... What an eventful day...

Signed,
Revelations

Drama

2008-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

An earfull of complaints

Today, i got home from coaching the cheer team for the person on the right...(the 1st one)... Anyway, i came home and started cooking with my mum as usual... And as wierd as it seems, in my house, the dinner table is like the 'discussion table'... Towards the end of my scrumptious meal, my sister suddenly burst forth a mighty torrent of complaints about her cheer team... And for the record, my sister somehow gets really agitated when it comes to these stuff.... So on she goes about how unfair it is, how terrible is the dance made by her co-captain etc etc in her high squeky voice, sharing all the useless information that we dont need..lol... It's like in her cheer team there's this political drama going on with this group unhappy with that group and so forth... Prattling on non-stop about it until even my mother got involved in it...@.@ *sighs* another day in my life at my house....

Another event

Today, i got the wierdest email...This email came from the 2nd person on the right and it contained only this

" >.> "

I asked her what she meant by sending me an email like that... Strangely, she had no idea she sent that email and the thing that was most wierd about it was that it was sent to me on the 7th of march 2008....When i'm still in the 6th of march... That part really gave me thte jitters... Almost creeped me out... Oh, and there are some good news though... A crisis has been averted and a problem was solved... For a lot of parties.. Thank God... To the person who created this whole mess in the first place, make sure you do not show your face to me because i will probably be the last person you meet....

Signed,
Revelations

The Office

2008-03-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

Oh my gawd....It's so funny

As a rule, i always read or watch anything my 2 brothers bring back anything from...wherever...So anyway, recently my big brother brought back a series called 'The Office'..And i had some free time on my hands...So i did the thing any bored person would do....And well, i think my introduction summarizes it....Damn, it was so funny, i almost wet myself laughing..lol...To anyone who hasn't watched it yet, i highly recommend this series...But be warned, the show has so many wierd moments, that you will actually feel embarassed for the main character....And it's not once or twice...That sort of thing happens often...Like, maybe 5-6 times in 1 episode....And for the record, one episode would be about 40-45 minutes long...
Funny thing is, there's only like 6 episodes in the first season...=_= what's up with that???

On an unrelated note, it seems that i might have some problems...

My family seems to be in some sort of financial crisis...Hmmm...Wonder what am i still doing here blogging.......Anyaway, due to the above mentioned problem, i might have problems starting my college...Whee...I mean, it's so fun sitting at home a whole day doing nothing...Why would i wanna go college for??? And to add to all that, my oldest brother has come home from a sabbatical of working under my uncles and living with them...And with him comes more stress for my mom and an overall increase in money usage...Not that i'm blaming him but he seems to aggravate my mother a lot...And so much aggravation has to come out at a certain place...Guess who?? Sighs...

Signed,
Revelations

Reconnecting

2008-02-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was interesting

A certain best friend of mine had organised a reunion/farewell party.... The reunion party was for all our tuition mates and the farewell party was for our 'beloved' orange that is going to leave for his very own NATIONAL SERVICE TRAINING.... Wooot... Which prompts me to wonder... How the heck is he gonna survive there?? Somehow, the orange just doesnt seem like the toughest person to me...=P But anyway, the party was pretty fun... Gettin to reconnect with friends that i've not seen in a while and the best part was i got to hang out with both my best friends... Best friend 1 wasnt actually part of the group but since best friend 2 invited her, she tagged along as well.... And for the first time in my life, i noticed best friend 1 being quiet(there's no distinction of who's closer to me with the numbers)... WOOAAHHH!!! Which is quite an accomplishment... And yet i found the silence a little disturbing... But, oh well, everybody has their problems... Being back with the old group was somewhat refreshing in an old way... If you get my meaning... Minus my 2 best friends, that group was and is the group where i feel most connected to... And with that added influence, i actually cam-whored!!!! WTH's wrong with me?? Hhahahaha... I must be going insane... Anyway, it was a fun ride so kudos to best friend 2 who organised the whole thing....

Signed,
Revelations

What Do I Do Now??

2008-02-25T21:11:00.000-08:00

What am i supposed to do??

The past few days have been pretty hectic...Time was somehow twisted until it seems that the span of a few days have become like a few hours...It's like being in space...When a few days pass for you, apparently, on earth a few days have passed....Is there a way to explain things like this??I dunno....Recently, i went to check out HELP college because i wanted to enroll there...When i got there, i met a guidance counsellor, an old geezer with barely 3 teeth left...But strangely, he could speak with no problems besides the fact that he has a bad chinese accent when he speaks in english...I mean, c'mon, is it that hard to employ counsellors that speak proper english??*Sighs* I wanted to go to that college because i want to continue there doing my degree in psychology...But my parents were against it for no apparent reason...Sort of like psychology haters or something...But anyway, my mum was with me when i talked to the counsellor and i can tell you, my mum was not impressed...At all...Damn, there goes my chance of convincing her to let me go there....And my parents want me to try to get into UM...KNNMCBCBBBQWTH???!!!!!Are there even sane people studying there??And what are the chances that I, being a chinese and not one of the elite, are of getting in that bloody place?? Oh well, guess i just have to deal with it....But that's enough about me... Just hope i can convince them to let me in HELP

It seems this year is a year of many surprises...

A cry for help came from an unexpected source...A friend of mine recently just asked me for help...It seem he/she had a problem with an old friend of his/hers....Basically, the old friend was just acting like a bitch all these years...So my friend was getting really upset and frustrated...What i mean by many surprises was, my friend came to me for help...Normally, we hardly talk and don't really know each other well yet...But, she came to me for help and i helped her as much as i could...And then there's another news that really shook me..But this one, i will not discuss it over here because of the sensitivity of the issue...Unexpected things always give me a wierd feeling...

Whatever the problem, i'm always here for you all k??

Signed.
Revelations

Helplessness

2008-02-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

Why won't you let me in?

You know that i am always there for you....You know you can always rely on me to be your pillar of strength...But you would not let me in to help you...I try to do my best to convince you i can help you...Yet you shrug off my comforting hand time and again...Can you just pull down your barriers and not fear the world around? I know you've been hurt many times but isn't making mistakes part of learning and living? How can i make myself your trusted confidant? How can i make you accept my friendship and guidance so that i can stop watching you suffer this pain alone and continue feeling so HELPLESS....Trust me as i have trusted you...A title of what we are means nothing if i haven't gained your trust...Release me from this pain of watching you slip away... Just take my hand, and it will all be okay..

Do you still consider me dear to you?

It's been a long time since we've hung out...We hardly talk and have minimal contact with each other...Are we still close to each other? Or have we just bacome another 'what has been' in a long line of our pasts...Do you still remember our good times? Or cherish our memories? Not all of them good but some of them bittersweet... And yet we have gone through that stage of instability...And please forgive me if i've ever done anything to hurt you...You are still close to my heart and i would never do anything to jeapordise that...How can we go back to the way we were? I hope we can somehow return and continue having this relationship so that we can be like this for all time...

This goes out to those that are closest and are dearest to me... Without the two of you, there would not be a 'me' today...So here's to my best friends

Signed,
Revelations

Online Game Woes

2008-02-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

Fiendish online games....

It was just another day like any other today...until i took it to myself to download an online game to ease my usual boredom of the day....as i entered the website, it looked pretty hopeful....so i went and downloaded a game called something solstice....and the bar showed i had to download it for like 5 friggin hours...in the timespan of the download, i managed to squeeze in 5 animes, a round of exercising and painting....and i returned to check on it...lo and behold!!!it was not done...WTH????but i persevered in da face of this daunting foe called time and boredom...and then finally!!it was done!!!but wait...it needed to update itself...and so i waited thinking it would be a short one at that...but it was not meant to be...the damn thing took another 1 and a half hours to update....cursed update....but again, my resolve kicked in and i steeled myself to reap the harvest that was the game....so, eventually, it finished updating...i entered the game and proceeded to make full use of it....and then DISASTER!!!! the game just terminateed by itself and ended my period of joy...T_T

So there ends my short time with online games with my bitter defeat....DAMN U ONLINE GAMES!!!! lol....but that doesn't stop me from trying again....haha

Signed.
Revelations

A New Experience

2008-02-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

Started a blog...wheeee

I used to be a hater of blogs and bloggers in general...I said things like 'blogging is stupid, why make a diary that everyone can read??'...something along those lines...but it seems i am inadvertently drawn to the strange pleasure of blogging as well...=.= *sighs* guess i'm one of the mentally challenged people mentioned above...anyway, i have my oldest brother to thank 4 having me start blogging...i read a few posts of his and realised that it was pretty interesting...it seems my earlier view of blogging as a diary was far from the reality...from what i could observe, it seems that blogging is a different way of self expression...i've been lacking that for the past 17+ years of my life so, here goes nothing...

Today is supposedly the celebration of the sky God or something for the chinese...personally, i dont see what so important in celebrating this particular festival (with no offence to those people that actually does find this day auspicious)...frankly, i think it's a waste of time goin back to our hometowns to celebrate a non-existent God...yeah, so sue me...even my own parents think the same...-.-
Oh well, guess it runs in the family then...but the main reason for my dislike of this festival is the bloody fireworks...i mean c'mon, some people need to sleep...a person could always release the fireworks before midnight but somehow the idiots at my place just doesnt understand that certain people need to have some shut eye...it's either that or they are just too stupid to realise it's 12 midnight...*sighs* malaysians and their inconsiderate nature....

Hung out today in my former school to help out one of my best friends...with cheerleading (yeah, it's the one with the pom poms)...it was extremely interesting and entertaining to see new recruits struggling to jump...heck, i nearly laughed my brains out....but somehow this strange phenomenon only affected the girls...just imagine them hopping three centimetres off the ground with their legs flailing and hands flapping (girls, if you are reading this, sry yeah...:P)...even my best friend which was the captain was subject to this awful but hilarious epidemic that was sweeping through the cheerleaders...lol...about the guys, it's really hard to comment because there happened to be only one guy through moist of the proceedings...=.= what happened??in my year the guys were fighting for positions and now we are reduced to one guy...arrrgghhhh!!! the slow but gradual degeneration of the younger generation...guess it cant be helped...but the whole thing was really enjoyable cos there were nice people there (and i got to scold them >=D)...lol...but their progress was pretty surprising...i give credit to them for learning as fast as they do...even though their captain is more fierce than two puan lims put together (sorry sam XD )

Anyway, thats about it for my first ever blog...

Signed,
Revelations