And Again It Comes

And here we go again....

Once again, i'm faced with the difficult decision... Once again, the answer are hidden from me... Once again, i face the same problems that have plagued me since the 1st time.... And the new intakes draw closer....
Those closer to me would have already known the problems i am facing... Same old same old... And yet, can't seem to find a way to shake it loose... Maybe i should just put it off for the rest of the damn year... How mortifying, the prospect of facing another half a year doing nothing while my peers advance, leaving me behind to be stagnant.... Funny how other dont seem to be facing this problem.... Like my brothers for instance... But then again, i shouldn't be jsut cursing everything and everyone just because it doesn't go my way... So anyway, to those who actually managed to get into their further studies, be thankful instead of having life and whatnot screwing you over...

And again you try....

You should know i've already noticed... It's not so hard to see, not so hard to recognise when you do it.... I'm not the only one to have this revelation though... Those that have seen you when you're with me have also seen it and what's more, the've told me about it... You continue trying even though you know my thoughts and i cannnot blame you, for i know i would do that too... But i do not want you to misunderstand, misintepret my actions, for if this continues to lead you on, the truth would crush you... And so i tell it to you now, what you are doing is not what i want, because i know when 'it' comes, 'it' grabs hold of you, stopping your breathing and only one thing remains in your thoughts.... But 'it' has happened to me and it doesn't happen when i'm with you... Hopefully, you would understand that through this, we can preserve our friendship long enough for you to see that this is the right thing to do....

Signed,
Revelations