Despair, Loss, And Hope

And the sand continuously trickles from the top of the hourglass to the ever empty bottom

Do you know what it feels like? When every second of every bad memory in your life freezes into stark rality as you watch on helpless... When every beat of your pounding heart sends torrents of blood into your brain only to discover it only lets in the thoughs of despair? When every thing you hold dear is stripped away leaving you naked and cold and alone in this desolate world? A feeling i would not want to go through and yet find it impossible to contain lest it chokes me on the inside leaving my body gasping for air and hollow. A feelings that prompts you to end it all, with a stroke of a blade in your hands, a click and a release from a cocked gun, a step off at the wrong direction or a ingestion of something that causes your body to writhe in agony for but a moment and then releases you into blessed oblivion. Have you ever felt despair so strong that with every second you breath you feel like tearing your own heart out just to feel pain and relieve you of the thoughts drowned in darkness? Of emotions rushing through you so powerfully that you can't even cry yourself to sleep because all the tears have been swallowed by the abyss of your suffering? That every second of the day you know there is a demon hovering beside you waiting for the chance to take control and drag you with it to the fiery depths until eternal sleep finds you and gives you solace? But it will only last but a few moments.

From the day you leave your mortal shell, you find that everybody has been lying to you, telling you that with death comes an eternal rest. You curse those that told you those blasphemies but is impotent to doanything about it for you were indeed dragged to the very bottom of the world, a place where the fires are continually stoked, never burning out, a place where you can hear the wailing and despair of others, yet unable to see or communicate with anybody besides the foul creatures that brought you there. You beg for a second chance, another attempt to change your life. But you have been judged for your transgressions and been cast into this unholy region. The unnatural flames burn you, yet you continue 'living' a semblence of life an unholy mockery of what used to be a great gift to us but we never treasured it. Every second of every dismal day, you are being tormented by the loathsome beasts, unalble to fight back, like a rat trapped in a cage and being seared by fiery hot pokers and each jab feels like agony you've never before experienced, each time worse than the last.

But i will not submit to my despair for i have a protector. The life that i lead might be as though a curse, yet i will treasure it and not end it with my own hands for i know of the dreadful consequences were i to do so. A hand guides me in the time of my hardships. The fog and smoke that clouds around my battered mind is pierced by a brilliant light that engulfs me in all its glorious radiance and in it, i find inexpressible joy. Through the endless suffering i walk through, many times i trip, stumble and fall flat on the ugly wreck that was once my face but now, a hand catches me every time i do and helps up again to continue plodding the long road that is life. Through all the trials and travails, a silent guardian is watching over me as it has drove away the horrible being that planned to capture my soul. I pledge myself to the powerful yet loving entity that has been my companion all my life but never realised it, and in my abasement, i found joy beyond compare and felt a similar joy emanating from my comforter and all the dwellers of the most high joined Him in celebration. I know now that there is nothing to fear, but my body betrays me. Yet, i am satisfied for i know, perfection is a thing that only He can obtain. And after my road has ended, i can be with Him together, forever, in an endless paradise that everyone can call home, as long as they take His hand and walk in His path. Because finally, i am at peace.

This is a message of understanding, of warning, and of a solution for all those that have lost their way on the path of life and have no more hope for the future. This goes out to the people that think life is meaningless and have submitted to despair. Let these words inspire you to change and help you find your way.

Signed,
Revelations