How's Life?

How's life? Some people ask....

Well, here's the breakdown...Life has been good so far...Of course, it has had its ups and downs but hey, that's life for you. If you're complaining about it, i won't say you are wrong, i'll just say you should examine yourself 1st. But anyway, recently we had this halloween party at my coll...It was okay, considering the low turn up of individuals... The commitee who organised it did pretty good in my opinion, managing everything as best they could... The highlights of that day was the few dancing performances, like the Pussycat Balls...Basically, guys thinkin they're the pussycat dolls...Ya nasty...And for fans of batman, there was a guy dressed up as Poison Ivy...Equally nasty...Or more....

Besides the horrific halloween party(it was bloody murder i tell you), there were my 2 best friends, who so graciously and expectedly turned up at my college just for the express purpose of visiting me...haha...At least i think so...One of them might have been looking for hot guys...Were you?? So anyway, i really appreciate my best friends comin together at once to see me...Means a lot to me and it's one of the reasons why i say life is good...

So here's to the both of you, my darlings...Hahaha


Signed,
Revelations

Long Waits, End

Hey y'all...

It seems it's become a habit for me to have super long gaps in my blogging so i'm not gonna say i have been blogging for a long time...haha... ANYWAYS, i have finally started my driving lessons... So far i have taken 2 lessons(that's = 4 hours by da way) and man, i'm hooked... I really love it although sometimes its damn frustrating when da car DIES!!! on you...haha...but i've already stopped sei-foing so i guess thats good...lol...oh, and MAJOR coincidence, my brother actually had the same instructor that i got, so that's pretty damn cool...he's a nice guy, terrible english though...lol...luckily, i;m not a complete banana so wasnt too hard understanding him...haha...looking forward to my next and final lessons which is on thursday, friday and sunday(then i'm taking the test already) so, wooot...

Oh, oh...

It seems Sam is adamant on throwing a party for me this saturday...haha...although my actual birthday is like 10 days later(u go figure)...knowing Sam, (she's probably doing it just to get a party to go to...haha...joking Sam...) its gonna be great and probably a little crazy too...hmmm...*wonders what unimaginable tortures Sam has in store for me**chokes on fried rice* and then my other best friend has booked me the following sunday to manifest her sadistic streak...*chokes AND gags on fried rice* haha...but i appreciate it guys(or girls) so thanks to both of my best buds and i luv y'all.... =)

Ps: use ur imagination when the ** sign appears(although you probably already know that)
Pps: go to this link...i love this...haha....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1FGaCNN1aw

Signed,
Revelations

Okay, Dunno Where I'm At, So Here Goes

Hey y'all...

It's been awhile since my last blog because seriously, i have had nothing of consequence to write in here. But then again, i don't have anything to write now either... Besides writing here that i don't have anything to write...(you can take an aspirin in advance, this is going to be confusing). So, i've been perusing the insights of my fellow peers that are close and some not close to me and have cometotheconclusionthateventhoughsomepeoplemaylookfinebutinsidetheystillhavemanyreasonsforhiding
thingsandtheydohidethemforfearofbeingregardedasvulnerablelikemyclosestfrensfamilyandeverybodyelse. If you've had a heartbrokendepressedwretchedfeelingbrokendownemotionaldowncastsadbrotherorbrothersan
devenclosefrensduetothelackofattentionlovecaringthattheywereusedtoyouwouldunderstandthatperfectlyjustlik
emesoifyouareasmartpersondonteverfindagirlfriendorboyfriendicouldhavejustsaidpartnerwhenyouarestillinsch
oolorevencollegeoruniversitybeacuselifegetssodamncomplicatedwhenyoudoespeciallywhentheconnectionrelat
ionshipthattiesyougetbrokenoffyouwillbecomeliketheaforementionedheartbokendepressedwretchedfeelingbrok
endownemotionaldowncastsadpeople. SO, take my advice(andhopethatitakeitmyself)anddontgetonesoearlyinlifeorifyoudodonotgetoverlyattachedbecauselikeitornoteventuallywhenyougrowupand
matureintodifferentpeoplesomehoworratheryouwillhaveadifferentoutlookonlifeandyourtastesandyouwillfindth
hattimeshavechangedandlovedoesnotcomesoeasilyanymore. Ergo, just follow my advice.

Song in my head:spell by marie digby

Stupid post,
Revelations

Road Trip.... Sort Of

Hey all!!

To all those that have followed me thus far in my blog, i got to say sorry for all the dark and pseudo-emo posts... Haha... So as a token of my forgiveness, here's some better stuff for you guys to look at...

Day 1

As the title suggests, i had a road trip from Friday till Sunday... The 1st stop was Ipoh and you can already guess what i did there... And so the 1st thing me and my family (whole family for once in about 4 years, this is the 1st holiday i had in 2 years, so pretty amazing, lol) did was go down to the famous white coffee place and gorged ourselves on the awesome food... White coffee, coupled with fried mee, dim sum, siew pau and fish ball just has a way of making your life all the more blissfull... Lol...( I have photos but can't seem to upload the mwith my gud for nothing internet connection) And right after that, we embraced the humble tradition of going to sleep right after our meal...(Although we actually didn't because we had to look for the hotel for about 45 minutes...Haha) And slumbered we did, until 6.30 wherein we once again decided to pursuit ways to make ourselves less horizontally challenged...(I actually managed to see a real Ipoh parking meter...It's shorter than me by about 2 feet and looks much better than ours...) Oh, and in the ardent look or food, i found the place where i fell into the drain when i was in form 1 or 2....(It was right outside a restaurant, the hor fun place, so u can imagine the nastiness of falling into one of those...eeecccchhh) Brings back lovely memories.... And after dinner, we once again retired into our rooms(again getting lost) and watched Catwoman(lame show) and then sleep)

Day 2

Woke up at 8 o'clock(with lots of whining and pleading of course) to join up with a friend and headed off to Taiping and again, food...(Lame i know) Then we shot up to Cameron Highlands...The trip itself was uneventful with everybody dosing(Except my father of course, who was driving)and waking up to read or just stone... But towards the top, the everybory woke up to feel the coolness of the fresh hill breeze(Cameron is not a mountain) and subsequently feel like puking....(I did anyway) First thing we did when we went there was to find our relative(really distant, hard to explain but really close to my family) who owns Cactus Valley, a popular tourist spot in Cameron... As usual, he greeted us with aplomb, though with a fewer hair... Always an influential person, he managed to secure us an apartment for RM200 a night with a siting room, 3bedrooms and their respective bathrooms when it was supposed to cost RM650....Haha... And then we went out for a fantastic dinner at his childrens' Godfather's place....(Technically, his children are our cousins...Again, hard to explain) All the food was good(I mean real GOOD!!! Can't find stuff like this down in KL) And then we went for a stroll in the pasar malam there... But we soon left because, as usual, my vaunted relative was paying for everything we bought!!!(Boxes of strawberries and bubble tea and corn) We then went to his house where i saw a freaky fish with a fish's body but a crocodile's mouth...(Nasty looking teeth too)We hung out there, the youngsters in a group and the elders in another...And laughing so much our heads almost popped out.... Lol...

Day 3

We were at his house until about 12.30(thats the reason for the different day, i'm very technical, so sue me) and then left for the comfort of our beds...Although we had to take a chilling bath till my little brother almost dropped off from frostbite... Slept and woke up at 9 this time and we went to the same place for breakfast(not so good this round the food)and then, my relative took us to see his farm and again gave us fresh strawberries and other stuff.... But the highlight was the trip up to the summit of one of the hills with a watchtower.... We went up there in a topless jeep and i managed to take loads of pictures of the tea plantations on the way up there(Beautiful i tell you)... Also, the wind in my face(and occasionally a branch) was real exhilarating.... The rest, is usual stuff.... And so ends my 1st vacation in 2 years... Haha...

Comprehension

Woot!!!

I'm finally going 2 college!!! Those of you who have kept up with my blog will know that this is actually quite a feat for me.... Unfortunately, i can only register now and wait till august for the semester to start.... T_T But still, i look forward to the time where i can actually start my studies again... How i ronice is that??? A few years ago(actually, just last year) i would have given up my left nut(pardon the symbology) to stop studying.... But hey, it all changes in time.... Oh, and my sister's wedding is coming up!!! I've been waiting for this to happen really long too because she has been dating the guy for about 5 years now....(now THAT is commitment) We'ev all been acquainted and found that he's a nice guy(more sensible then my sis).... LOL... So anyway, the party's gonna be so big that there's gonna be like 4 ceremonies... Oh, and i'll be her all important usher(not quite but trying to feel more important here so humour me)... Yep yep, lots of hand shaking and welcomes are gonna be made and by the end of the day i'll probably have my face frozen in a half grimace half smile....HAHA


And yet you cannot comprehend

I don't know whether you really cannot comprehend, that you cannot understand, my words that are supposed to make you realise, or you are just lying to yourself in order to prolong your period of imagined happiness... How else can i make you realise the truth of what i'm saying without hurting you, and our friendship? Have i led you on? Waited too long to tell you this? Or did you just get attached and refuse to let go? My words should have given you clarity on the situation... Given you insight to my thoughts... And yet, you stay the same, asking questions like you don't understand... If this is hurting, i must sorry, even though i know it must be done... Don't you see? It is for the good of both of us that this has to come to light... But you ignore all the signs, the signals, the words that i have given you to help you understand.... So, i hope this will bring you to acknowledge that this is for you, simple and clear.... So take these words and know who you are....

Signed,
Revelations

And Again It Comes

And here we go again....

Once again, i'm faced with the difficult decision... Once again, the answer are hidden from me... Once again, i face the same problems that have plagued me since the 1st time.... And the new intakes draw closer....
Those closer to me would have already known the problems i am facing... Same old same old... And yet, can't seem to find a way to shake it loose... Maybe i should just put it off for the rest of the damn year... How mortifying, the prospect of facing another half a year doing nothing while my peers advance, leaving me behind to be stagnant.... Funny how other dont seem to be facing this problem.... Like my brothers for instance... But then again, i shouldn't be jsut cursing everything and everyone just because it doesn't go my way... So anyway, to those who actually managed to get into their further studies, be thankful instead of having life and whatnot screwing you over...

And again you try....

You should know i've already noticed... It's not so hard to see, not so hard to recognise when you do it.... I'm not the only one to have this revelation though... Those that have seen you when you're with me have also seen it and what's more, the've told me about it... You continue trying even though you know my thoughts and i cannnot blame you, for i know i would do that too... But i do not want you to misunderstand, misintepret my actions, for if this continues to lead you on, the truth would crush you... And so i tell it to you now, what you are doing is not what i want, because i know when 'it' comes, 'it' grabs hold of you, stopping your breathing and only one thing remains in your thoughts.... But 'it' has happened to me and it doesn't happen when i'm with you... Hopefully, you would understand that through this, we can preserve our friendship long enough for you to see that this is the right thing to do....

Signed,
Revelations

Despair, Loss, And Hope

And the sand continuously trickles from the top of the hourglass to the ever empty bottom

Do you know what it feels like? When every second of every bad memory in your life freezes into stark rality as you watch on helpless... When every beat of your pounding heart sends torrents of blood into your brain only to discover it only lets in the thoughs of despair? When every thing you hold dear is stripped away leaving you naked and cold and alone in this desolate world? A feeling i would not want to go through and yet find it impossible to contain lest it chokes me on the inside leaving my body gasping for air and hollow. A feelings that prompts you to end it all, with a stroke of a blade in your hands, a click and a release from a cocked gun, a step off at the wrong direction or a ingestion of something that causes your body to writhe in agony for but a moment and then releases you into blessed oblivion. Have you ever felt despair so strong that with every second you breath you feel like tearing your own heart out just to feel pain and relieve you of the thoughts drowned in darkness? Of emotions rushing through you so powerfully that you can't even cry yourself to sleep because all the tears have been swallowed by the abyss of your suffering? That every second of the day you know there is a demon hovering beside you waiting for the chance to take control and drag you with it to the fiery depths until eternal sleep finds you and gives you solace? But it will only last but a few moments.

From the day you leave your mortal shell, you find that everybody has been lying to you, telling you that with death comes an eternal rest. You curse those that told you those blasphemies but is impotent to doanything about it for you were indeed dragged to the very bottom of the world, a place where the fires are continually stoked, never burning out, a place where you can hear the wailing and despair of others, yet unable to see or communicate with anybody besides the foul creatures that brought you there. You beg for a second chance, another attempt to change your life. But you have been judged for your transgressions and been cast into this unholy region. The unnatural flames burn you, yet you continue 'living' a semblence of life an unholy mockery of what used to be a great gift to us but we never treasured it. Every second of every dismal day, you are being tormented by the loathsome beasts, unalble to fight back, like a rat trapped in a cage and being seared by fiery hot pokers and each jab feels like agony you've never before experienced, each time worse than the last.

But i will not submit to my despair for i have a protector. The life that i lead might be as though a curse, yet i will treasure it and not end it with my own hands for i know of the dreadful consequences were i to do so. A hand guides me in the time of my hardships. The fog and smoke that clouds around my battered mind is pierced by a brilliant light that engulfs me in all its glorious radiance and in it, i find inexpressible joy. Through the endless suffering i walk through, many times i trip, stumble and fall flat on the ugly wreck that was once my face but now, a hand catches me every time i do and helps up again to continue plodding the long road that is life. Through all the trials and travails, a silent guardian is watching over me as it has drove away the horrible being that planned to capture my soul. I pledge myself to the powerful yet loving entity that has been my companion all my life but never realised it, and in my abasement, i found joy beyond compare and felt a similar joy emanating from my comforter and all the dwellers of the most high joined Him in celebration. I know now that there is nothing to fear, but my body betrays me. Yet, i am satisfied for i know, perfection is a thing that only He can obtain. And after my road has ended, i can be with Him together, forever, in an endless paradise that everyone can call home, as long as they take His hand and walk in His path. Because finally, i am at peace.

This is a message of understanding, of warning, and of a solution for all those that have lost their way on the path of life and have no more hope for the future. This goes out to the people that think life is meaningless and have submitted to despair. Let these words inspire you to change and help you find your way.

Signed,
Revelations